Make the Time

I lost a family member today. He'd been sick for a long time and he passed away early this morning in his home. He wasn't a brother or a grandfather, but I knew him, and he knew me.

Most of my memories of him come from my childhood. He and his wife would always be at family gatherings, and they would even host a Christmas party every year that seemingly everyone went to. I also remember my mother taking me on many, many summer trips out to a house he owned with his brother on a lake, where I learned how to swim.

I would never have to refer to an aunt or my mother and ask "What's his name again?", and I had heard many stories from my parents and others about him, though I never really got a chance to have a good conversation with him in my adult life.

I would see his wife, my 2nd cousin, at weddings and milestone birthday parties, but he was always not well enough to be there in person. I would ask about him and she would give me honest answers, then I'd say something like "Tell him I said hello."

More recently she'd suggest I come over for a visit, and though I always meant to, I never did. Never, that is, until two days ago when I went with my mother and my aunt and saw him nearing the end of his life.

He was mostly in a daze and wasn't able to talk much. All we could really do was talk to him, hold his hand, and ultimately say goodbye.

...

While we were there I saw lots of the things he had crafted around the house. This was his hobby and a big part of his life, and I never knew this about him. He had hand-made decorations everywhere, and I was even shown his workshop. It made me realize I could've known him a lot more, and likewise he could've known me a lot more too. I could've told him about how I met my fiancée, or how I play in a baseball league, or even just how I have my own blog.

I never had the chance to get to know him better, to know him as more than a figure from my childhood or a character in a family story. I never made the time to go and see him, and I should have.

It may sound cliché, but it should never be the case that you "don't have time". If there is something you mean to do, something you want to do, you make the time.

I wish I had.

Rest in peace Billy.