Dick in a Box

Somehow I missed this on SNL.
Thanks once again to jaz for producing another gem.

Mind Games Day

No, this isn't a day you should spend playing games with the heads of others. Mind Games Day is a day of mind puzzles, games and skill. Brainteasers, Rubik's cubes, puzzles, Sudoku, Kakuro, interlocking metal thingees...you get the idea.

Merry Christmas 2006

Merry Christmas. Whether you are traveling from house to house delivering presents or staying home playing with your own, enjoy the day.

My 5 all-time holiday films, in no particular order:

• A Christmas Story
• Elf
• It's a Wonderful Life
• Scrooged
• The Santa Clause

R.I.P. James Brown

On a day mostly affiliated with the joys of morningtime gift giving and recieving,
sad news comes out of Atlanta as James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, has died at age 73.

Rest in peace, Mr. Brown.

Brainworks: Spelling is for kids

I got this in an email once from AL-9000.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid is aamznig. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and you awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!

R.I.P. Joseph Barbera

Joseph Barbera, half of the famous Hanna and Barbera, died of natural causes yesterday at the age of 95. This duo is responsible for some of the most famous and beloved cartoons of all time: Tom and Jerry, the Jetsons, Yogi Bear....the list is pretty long. There have been several movies made based on Hanna-Barbera cartoons including Scooby-Doo, Josie and the Pussycats, and The Flintstones (the Flintstones, for the record, was the first cartoon ever aired in prime time). They made tons of other cartoons we all loved as kids, spread over half a century. In going over the long list of characters they created in preparation for this post, I found several I had no idea they'd made, including the Smurfs and the Snorks (sorta the same, I know). They'd even made one of my all-time favorite non-animated shows from my childhood: the Banana Splits.


My personal Hanna-Barbera favorites are:

• Captain Caveman (Captain...Caaaaaaaavemaaaaaaaaaan)
• Huckleberry Hound (one of my favorite shirts as a teen proudly sported Huckleberry)
• The Herculoids (what were the names of those glob-guys?)
• Jonny Quest (Haji! Bandit!)
• Superfriends
• Jabberjaw (who can resist a big funny shark?)
• Top Cat
• Hong Kong Phooey
• Quick Draw McGraw
• Great Grape Ape (the song sticks with me mostly)
• Birdman
• Space Ghost (who can be seen even today on The Cartoon Network)

Which were your favorites?


Rest in Peace, Mr. Barbera.
 

Happy Agnostica

Happy Agnostica! This holiday, celebrating Science, continues for an indeterminate amount of time, as dictated by Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle (duh). What I didn't know until today was that it is a holiday placed in the holiday season with specifically a non-religious nature. The definition given at agnostica.com is decidedly less, well, agnostic in tone:

Agnostica is the only truly secular winter celebration. It is a celebration for the scientist in all of us, celebrating not some contrived story written thousands of years ago and translated seventeen times over until the Hebrew word for "rope" gets turned into "camel," and then inexplicably the whole deal is replaced by consumer-frenzy dictated to us by a fat child-labor mogul in a fur-lined red suit, but rather of ourselves, the perfect self-defining nature of the universe, and of being proud of the human intellect.

I guess Atheistica didn't sound as good. Other links of interest include the Nukees cartoon strips and the all-in-one Agnostica page.

Time Waster: Bubble Trouble

This is maybe time waster of the year...
for the larger, more official version, click here.

...I'm a VAIO???

The "I'm a PC. I'm a Mac" campaign is no doubt one of the most popular on TV right now. It's also one of the most successful...for Apple anyway. For the rest of the computer companies out there (i.e. those who make "PC"s), it's proven to be fairly destructive to any kind of image they promote for themselves. It should be no surprise, then, that at least one company has tried to distance itself from that boring, pudgy, and uncool visual metaphor. Sony Australia is pushing their new VAIO laptops as "The non-pc pc" and their website sports a small Flash app that asks "Who do you want to play with?" and has likenesses of both the "PC guy" and the "Mac guy" along with a new character: the "VAIO girl". The app itself does nothing more than make sounds when you roll over the characters (they give no love to the PC guy), and leads me to believe that Sony couldn't beat 'em, so they're trying to join 'em.

Somebody should tell Sony that the VAIOs still run on Windows.

Day of the Ninja

Yes, folks, it's true. Today is the "Day of the Ninja", though I'm not sure why it's today. Actually, I can't even really think of a reason why this is a holiday to begin with other than the fact that Ninjas around the world were jealous that Pirates, their arch-nemeses, had their own day. Eh...pirates are better (with the possible exception of Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Rafael, of course).

No Mo NoBloPoMo

Yeah...bye November. 30 up, 30 down. Thanks for playin.

Boston Accents

We all have those friends who find it necessary to forward to us every chain email, list of tasteless jokes, and "big opportunity" from some prince in South Africa, and I am no different. Occasionally, however, you find something of actual interest. Today was such a day for me.

I got sent a link to a quiz that claimed to be able to ascertain what type of accent I had. I couldn't resist, as accents and dialects are parts of linguistics I have always had an interest in. I was skeptical at first, but the test was short and, amazingly, pretty accurate (see my results below). I do, in fact, have a Boston accent....and am damn proud of it, too.

But what about the various sub-types of the Boston accent? We all know about the Beacon Hill / Ted Kennedy / Mayor Quimby brahmin accent, as well as the ever-stereotypical "pahk your cah in Hahvid yahd" popularized by the SNL Jimmy Fallon / Rachel Dratch "Nomaaah" skits and, of course, bad acting in every movie ever shot in Boston....but anyone from around here knows there's much more to it than that, and some people claim to be able to tell just what part of Boston or the Boston Metropolitan area one comes from by merely listening to them speak. Is there a difference between those from the north shore and those from the south shore? Can one find subtleties in accents and discern whether they are from Eastie or Southie, Worcester or the Cape? There are lots of guides to "Boston English" out there, but I think it would be a very interesting undertaking indeed to try to find patterns in the actual Boston accents, and ultimately come up with an almost mathematical way to connect them together and differentiate between them. Until then, I'll have to pass my time doing things that are actually realistic....

Oh, and for the record, nobody here says "wicked pissah".

What kind of American accent do you have? Your Result: Boston You definitely have a Boston accent, even if you think you don't. Of course, that doesn't mean you are from the Boston area, you may also be from New Hampshire or Maine.
The Midland
The West
North Central
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The South
What American accent do you have?

The Beermapping Project

I love mashups, and while going through some old unread items in my newsreader, I came across a cool one in The Bostonist's feed. In a post called "Finding Beer In The Dark", they review a site called "The Beermapping Project" that uses the Google Maps API to highlight, well, beer things, including places to buy, places that brew, places to drink, etc. There are lots of cities with entries already, and I am happy to report that Boston is one of them. I even submitted our favorite local packey here in Weymouth, John's Liquors (should be up soon, I think). Go beer!

Homeland Security - Native American Style

One of my co-workers who'd recently returned from a conference in New Mexico brought us back gifts in the form of big buttons with this not-so-subtle reminder of just how relative things can be. It made me chuckle, but is humor the only goal of the message, if a goal at all? Do Native Americans still resent the fact that 500 years ago Europeans came to this continent and eventually wiped out an enormously large number of their ancestors? Perhaps the fact that as recently as 50 years ago television shows like "Bonanza" and "The Lone Ranger" celebrated this time period leaves a bad taste in their mouths. Or maybe the fact that current day sports teams have names like "Indians", "Seminoles", "Sachems" and "Redskins" (a racial epithet not that long ago, by the way) bugs them a little....go figure.

This makes me think, even a little angry. Almost as angry as when I lose money at Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun.

Losing Your "Frame" of Reference

I'm not sure what's more disturbing, finding yourself transfixed on the hypnotic spin of the frames, or occasionally focusing accidentally on the head of the guy holding it.

Are You Tone Deaf?

I found this on LifeHacker. In the words of Jake Mandell, it's creator, it's a "quick online way to screen for tonedeafness. It actually turned out to be a pretty good test to check for overall pitch perception ability.", so it's made intentionally to be pretty difficult, but it's fun so give it a shot. All you have to do is listen to 36 pairs of musical phrases and hit one of two buttons: "same" or "different"....it's that easy. The test was created while Mandell was working at the music and neuroimaging lab at Beth Israel in Boston.

I got an "exceptional performance" at 91.7% correct (and was surprised to see so). Good luck!

Evolution Day / Creation Museum

Today is "Evolution Day", and amazingly it has nothing to do with the David Duchovny / Julianne Moore / 7-Up Guy / Stiffler comedy classic. It is celebrated today because it is the anniversary of when Charles Darwin's "Origin of Species" first came out back in 1859. This was of course the famous publication that outlined natural selection and an explanation of human evolution, the theory currently accepted by scientists and taught in science classes across the world.

There are, of course, other explanations of our origins, several of which are known as Creationism (that's a nice science-y sounding word). The most prominent of these use the most popular piece of literature in the world as a primary source of information: the Bible. There has been debate in some parts of the US as to which theory should be taught in schools, and though I am completely sold on the theory of evolution, I can see how those who believe otherwise would not want that taught to their children. In fact, in places like Georgia "alternative theories" to evolution are already being taught. Is there a conflict of interest here? Science is never fact, it is simply the best idea we have about things at the time (see "the world is flat" and "the earth is the center of the universe"). In the case of public schools in particular, is there a mixing of church and state?

Well, all of those issues aside, I thought it interesting that a Creation Museum is opening in 2007 in Cincinnati, Ohio, described as a "walk through history" that "will proclaim the Bible as supreme authority in all matters of faith and practice in every area it touches on" and "will counter evolutionary natural history museums that turn countless minds against Christ and Scripture." I wasn't sure what kind of exhibits this museum might have, so I went on the "virtual walk-through". I recommend you go and do the same; it gives some insight into what the purpose of this museum really is. Here are some of my favorite stops on the tour and their descriptions:

Stargazer's Room
Peer back into the deepest recesses of the heavens, and discover that the latest images of the stars confirm an all powerful Creator, not a random bang!

Bible Authority Room
The Bible is true. No doubt about it! Paul explains God's authoritative Word, and everyone who rejects His history-including six-day creation and Noah's Flood-is ‘willfully’ ignorant.

Ancient Babylon
Witness the confusion of languages at the Tower of Babel and the subsequent dispersion of peoples. Unravel the mystery of the origin of the so-called ‘races.’ Discover how the science of anthropology actually confirms the Bible’s history!

Creation
Explore the wonders of creation. The imprint of the Creator is all around us. And the Bible’s clear—heaven and earth in six 24-hour days, earth before sun, birds before lizards. Other surprises are just around the corner. Adam and apes share the same birthday. The first man walked with dinosaurs and named them all! God’s Word is true, or evolution is true. No millions of years. There’s no room for compromise.

Random bang? So-called 'races'? No room for compromise? If one thing is evident it is this: of all of the differences one may describe between science and religion, none seems more prominent than the fact the science allows for evolution, in more ways than one.

Happy Evolution Day!

Happy Turkey Day!

Ah, Adam Sandler. You either like him or you don't. Regardless, here's a silly Sandler song for the ages...the Turkey Song.

Happy 56th Birthday Pop

As Abuela would point out: it's Thanksgiving, so it must be your birthday! Happy birthday Dad...

Conspiracy Theory Day

Today is Conspiracy Theory Day, dedicated to conspiracy theories wordwide. This date was selected because it's the sad anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, the subject of one of the most famous (or infamous) conspiracy theories of all time (grassy knoll, etc.). For an interesting "anatomy of a conspiracy", check this out.

Here are some other well known conspiracies (real and otherwise):

• 1919 Black Sox Scandal
• Assassinations of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X
• Area 51
• Watergate
• 9/11 (even a conspiracy theory movie)
• Assassinations of Julius Caesar and Caligula
• Helter Skelter
• Jack the Ripper's identity and potential royal cover-up
• Enron
• Assassination of RFK
• Death of Princess Diana

Any other favorites to add to the list?

Michael Richards (and others) Shows True Colors

After watching the Michael Richards tirade laden with racial epithets , I was of course shocked and appalled at the unbridled rage with which "Kramer" attacked some heckler, and found it simply despicable. This is a career-ender (for whatever career he had left) and is completely indefensible. I'm not sure if his apology on Letterman (which did not sound all that sincere) helped him or hurt him, though I think the veracity of his onslaught makes any attempt at apology moot. Nobody comes out with that kind of language spontaneously, no matter what the rationale. I believe Michael Richards showed his true, racist colors on that stage that night.

Which brings me to my next point. After watching the video, I read some of the discussion boards, and as much as I thought this to be a universally reprehensible act, I was amazed to see almost a third of the posts on TMZ were completely sidestepping the act and the fact that Richards didn't merely use the "N'-word repeatedly (I feel uncomfortable even writing it) and said things like "that's what happens when you interrupt the white man" and "50 years ago we'd have you upside down with a f-ing fork up your ass" (a very clumsy reference to lynching). Instead, those posters decided to focus on the tired "there's a double standard out there" argument, which, by the way, comes off as a defense of what Richards did.

I happen to agree that a double standard exists in that a black man can say the "N"-word and a white man can't. No, let me rephrase that. Anyone can say whatever they want; what we're talking about here are comfort levels in doing so (in fact there are plenty of white people who are perfectly comfortable saying it, just look at footage from any KKK rally). How this changes what Richards did I don't know, and I think that those people out there who use this as an opportunity to complain about reverse racism or whatever ask themselves what really is the issue here. Richards was using these words and phrases in anger, not in jest.

This should not be an argument of what's fair or just, it should be a condemnation of what someone who used to be a comic icon did in a comedy club last Friday night.

Time Waster: Line Rider

Thanks to AL-9000 for this one...this is a serious Time Waster, so be careful. "LineRider" is a beautifully simple concept, and one I wish I'd thought of myself. You draw a line, hit play, and watch a small tobogganer with a ski hat and a red scarf sled down your slope .The only complaint I have of it is that there is no apparent way to erase lines....you can only start over. Maybe that's part of the challenge, I guess.

The region in which you can draw lines seems endless, and you can shoot your Line Rider off into the void for a long time before trying to make him land. Try to make a loop-dee-loop (hint, you can't go through lines). Have fun and remember, you probably have better things to do.

Happy 30th Birthday Al

Happy birthday Alex... I hope you enjoy your gift this year, and you read this before I give it to you because there's a pretty big hint somewhere in this post (I wonder where...)

The Fine Print with Scott Boras

For some reason I've just now found out about The Brushback Report, which is basically a sports-themed Onion.com (but a few levels down in terms of presentation). Anyhoo, as a sample, there's an article there entitled "Boras Informs Matsuzaka It's Customary For American Agents To Receive 80 Percent"...the title says it all.

"I also explained to him that 80 percent here is different than 80 percent in Japan. You know, because of the metric system."

Spanish Castle Illusion, Customized

I found this on Slashdot....very cool. It's a customized version of the Spanish Castle Illusion (the image below is from our recent trip to Las Vegas) which I made at http://www.myopticalillusion.com/.


Directions: Remove your mouse from the image above. Focus on the black dot in middle of the image for twenty seconds. Keep focus on the dot while you move your mouse back over the image, and the image will appear to be in color. What's cool is that once you do move your eyes away from the dot, you see the picture for what it is: a black a white image.

So, how does it work?

This illusion forces your brain to see color in a black and white photo. It works by first saturating your visual memory with shade and line data, which occurs when you stare at the first picture for more than ten seconds or so. Upon flipping to the second picture, the spectral opposite of the original color data is imposed on the grey lines and shading of the photo.

If the illusions works, it will immediately begin to fade once you move your eyes. This is because a saccade, or a quick lateral eye movement, will effectively "clear" the visual memory buffer with the assumption that the eye is seeking a new pattern to focus on. Even though the visual memory buffer clears with a slight glance in any direction, you will still see a slight fading of illusory effect as the neurochemical saturation in your visual cortex fades.

That explanation was taken from an article at tripzine.com, which looks to be a site devoted to the study of all things scientifically psychedelic, so take it with a grain of salt (or whatever else floats your boat, I guess).

Time Waster: Find the Differences

You may have tried this one before. When you click on the link below, you'll see two nearly identical pictures. There are supposedly three differences; I can only find two. If you can find three, you are part of a very small group of elite people (and please, let me know where the third one is). Try it out:

http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf

Oh, and uh, sorry beforehand.

Mr. Matsuzaka

Daisuke Matsuzaka

It's a name we've recently read in all the papers and heard butchered on sports radio (it's pronounced Dice-kay, I think). The reason for all the coverage, however, is great news for us up here in Boston, as the Red Sox have outbid all the other teams in MLB in a blind auction just to have the chance to negotiate with the guy. I keep hearing about how good and informative the Gammons piece yesterday, but it's an ESPN inSider thing, so I can't read it until I subscribe. (yargh)

Say what you will, Yanker fan, but the Red Sox did not outbid everyone else just so that no one else could negotiate. That's just a foolish notion. The guy's unproven, sure (at least in this country), but I sincerely doubt that Theo and company would throw that kind of money around for someone they hadn't thoroughly researched.

So the next question is, of course, where does he fit in the rotation? Might it be:

• Schilling
• Matsuzaka
• Beckett
• Wakefield
• Papelbon

And if so, where is Lester? Who closes?

Mr. Matsuzaka, whether he knew it or not, just threw a really big log into the baseball stove, and it's starting to heat up.

300 - Battle of Thermopylae

So there's another movie coming out in March based on a Frank Miller graphic novel, and much like the last one ("Sin City"), this one looks great, not to mention full of CG. It's called "300" and is the story of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae, the battle in which 300 Spartans led by King Leonidas (and 700 volunteer Thespians) lost their lives against a massive Persian army led by Xerxes I (estimates range between 250,000 and 500,000 troops) in order to slow down the Persian invasion. The trailer looks kicakass and the more I read about this battle, the more interested and amazed I become. It's no wonder there is a movie coming out about it. I love the quote IMDB has on their page about the movie: "Spartans, this is where we fight. This is where they die!" -King Leonidas.

Was this one of those stories I was supposed to read about back in high school? See kids, Greek and Latin are cool.

I can't believe I just wrote that.

Live Action Transformers Movie

I may be the last to hear about this one, but seriously, a live-action Transformers movie?

Sign me up.

The trailer is definitely of the teaser variety, and so far it looks good. With a cast consisting of Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson and Anthony Anderson, among others (I think I saw Bernie Mac on the list), I'm extrememly interested to see what kind of storyline they come up with. Although the special effects are going to be badass and probably enough to get most of us to the theaters, we all know that sometimes a bad plot and/or bad acting can make a movie a huge disappointment. IMDB has a lot of information on its pre-production status so far.

There better be a Bumblebee in there somewhere, that's all I'm saying....

Last Page of the Internet

I never thought I'd get there, but I did: The Last Page of the Internet.

R.I.P. Jack Palance

Jack Palance died yesterday at the age of 87. This man had an illustrious career and to me always represented scary villans and tough S.O.B.s, and had what I believe to be the all-time best airy, raspy, evil voice. I remember him as the host of Ripley's Believe It Or Not, as the short lived big boss Grissom in the first Batman movie, and as the comicly scary Curly in City Slickers. My favorite Jack Palance moment: him doing one-handed push-ups on stage at the 1992 Oscars.

Rest in Peace Mr. Palance.

Vegas '06- Part 7- "Celebrities"

At any given time in Vegas you're liable to run into a celebrity. The Lovely Mary (TLM) and I were no exception this trip as we ran into no less than 5 famous people. Ok, ok, so they aren't exactly superstars or household names (as a matter of fact I didn't even know most of their names at the times we saw them), but their sightings prompted a "hey, there's that guy", or a "wasn't he in that commercial?", or at least a "look, it's [enter wrong name here]", so they must be somewhere between lists D and Z, right?

It all started off last Saturday night at the Mandalay Bay when we found ourselves wandering through bullriding fanatics and fight lovers when out of the corner of my eye I saw a woman parading a blond wig and a loud, tawdry, and very revealing dress through the crowd. It took only a glimpse of her face (yes, that's what I was looking at!) to recognize her as "Hottie" (real name Schatar Sapphira Taylor) from the first season of VH1's "Flavor of Love". She was the one who tried to cook a chicken in the microwave for Flav's mom and later got dismissed for having been exposed as an actress (and I use the term extremely loosely). I pointed her out to TLM, who acknowledged her identity with a simple "bleh", and when the encounter came up later in conversation, she described "Hottie" simply as "Dasty" (dirty+nasty)...'nuff said.

The next night TLM and I went to check out the Fashion Show Mall (guess which one of us found that place) and we stopped afterwards to have some tapas at a place called Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba. We were just finishing off a beef empanada, some chicken and ham croquettes, and some very tasty sangria when I looked over and saw a tall, long haired man eating with a his jet black cowboy hat placed delicately in the seat to his left and a short-haired blond placed on the one to his right. I knew he looked familiar, and soon realized he was one of those professional poker players I'd seen on ESPN. In fact, he was probably the only one I'd even be able to recognize at all, and he had one of those catchy nicknames, too...in this case, "Jesus". It wasn't until we spoke to one of TLM's coworkers later that night that we learned his name is Chris Ferguson, and besides being good at poker another of his claims to fame is that he can pitch a playing card through a carrot. I guess we all gotta be good at something, eh?

During one of our jaunts down the strip, we were passing through the Luxor's casino when TLM noticed a crowd gathering near the hotel's entrance, so we walked over to take a look. People seemed really excited, so we assumed it was someone big. Eh, not so much, but at least it was someone whose actual name we knew: Criss Angel (yeah, he spells it that way) who's a close-up illusionist and has a pretty entertaining show on A&E I've seen a few times called Mindfreak. We asked around and got an unusually large amount of information about the event from these two middle-aged women who could hardly contain themselves (who knew this guy commanded such unabashed fanaticism?). Anyway, they told us he was moving his base of operations to the Luxor (from where, who knows) and that the event was the official welcoming ceremony. We were also told that he was going to perform an illusion to be taped for season 3 of his show in the cordoned off area we were standing right next to. Well, after waiting for about half an hour and being prompted by some producers to cheer for the cameras a few times, he finally makes his way into the hotel, stops to thank the people for being so supportive, turns around, and leaves. Now that's what I call tricking people.

The quickest psuedo-celebrity sighting I had was Greg Proops, who has had guest appearances on all kinds of shows and is probably best known for his improv work on "Who's Line is it Anyway?", though I remember him from a short-lived favorite show of mine on Comedy Central called "Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn" (unfortunately, Colin Quinn's modus operandi of "laugh at me and not with me" is what killed it). Anyway, he walked briskly by me in the Mandalay Bay casino looking pretty desheveled, and I got the sense he either just lost a lot of money at some table or bombed on stage. My theory is that all comedians (and magicians for that matter) are inherently depressed, so maybe that's just how he always looks when not on stage or on camera.

Last, and maybe least, we were on our plane home and I looked across to see this guy sleeping, facing me (so I could get a nice view of his open mouth and maybe a little drool). I noticed the emblem on his hat said "Mike the Mouth" and had some playing cards on it, and that rang a distant bell with me. Later in the flight, I overheard him identifying himself to the guy next to him as a professional poker player, and in fact he was Mike Matusow, not surprisingly also known as "Mike the Mouth" (modesty gets you everywhere, including flying coach). I didn't talk to him much, but did find out he was on his way to Foxwoods for a tournament. What I should have asked was what "professional poker player" meant. Does he get sponsored to play or has he just won enough poker tournaments to have earned the title? Either way, I reserve the right to hate on him for playing cards for a living. Besides, he had a fanny pack...

In any case, there was no Cameron Diaz, Robert DeNiro, nor Christopher Walken to be found during our stay, nor would they have any particular reason to be, I suppose (though I hear Walken is running for President in '08), but we saw enough at least to write about.

Maybe write too much about...

Vegas '06- Part 6- "Le Reve"

Much of the smalltalk during the week hovered around the many Cirque du Soleil shows currently in Vegas, which were good and which ones we should go to. Eventually we settled on "Le Reve" showing at the new Wynn hotel at the other end of the strip.

First, some clarification. According to the Cirque du Soleil website, "Le Reve is in no way associated with Cirque du Soleil". I can understand how they have a whole page dedicated to this topic as no one we spoke to didn't identify it as a Cirque show. There's all kinds of confusion about this, due mostly to the fact that there is an actual Cirque show called "O" which is also water-based, created by the same guy (Franco Dragone), and put on by the same billionaire (Steve Wynn). So: "Le Reve" is not a Cirque show.

But it is still incredibly entertaining.

When The Lovely Mary first got the tickets, I admit I was a little skeptical. Exactly one minute after we entered the theater, I knew I had no reason to be, and frankly when it was over I was amazed. With the exception of the 2004 postseason, I can't think of any other event I've experienced that was more enjoyable, and I'm not afraid to say so. As had been the case a few times with me before (like when I initially hated on "24"), I completely misjudged the quality of a show before having seen it.

This is officially a glowing revue for (the non-Cirque du Soleil show) "Le Reve". If you're there and aren't sure what to see, go see that.

Vegas '06- Part 5- "IN-N-OUT Burger"

There's lots do do in Las Vegas, without a doubt, but every once in a while you see something you just can't resist. As The Lovely Mary and I looked out of our hotel window, we saw such a sight: an IN-N-OUT Burger.

Now there are lots of great restaurants and other places to eat everywhere up and down the strip. Seeing that familiar red sign and big yellow arrow, however, reminded us that we didn't have to break the bank to get some good food. Before you knew it, we were at the website finding directions, and thinking about how long it's been since the last time we got to eat at one (there are none out here on the east coast).

Mmmmmm......double-double, baby, just like we remembered.

Rumsfeld who?

Buh-bye

"It's Patrick in a Romp"

Well, the Deval Patrick victory as Governer of Massachusetts ("It's Patrick in a Romp" -Boston Globe) just goes to show that overly negative smear campaigns like those we are used to seeing from the GOP don't always work. The recent Republican tactic of taking an opponent's strength and making it seem like a weakness (see Kerry/swift boats and McCain/POW time) won't fool voters anymore.

This is a good thing. Now all we have to do is get voters to see past those cleverly conceived short phrases the GOP comes up with like "cut and run" and "stay the course". These phrases are chalk full of implications that people can't deny at face value; of course we want to "support our troops". The intended manipulation is of course to conveniently associate these phrases with political issues to which people would otherwise have to give actual thought.

Imagine that...politicians trying to make people believe something instead of understanding it.

Vegas '06- Part 4- "Programmers in Vegas"

All I gotta say is, it's amazing how quickly things can change around here. When we got here, there were lots of bullriders and fight-lovers, and now, due to a Microsoft conference all week, all we see are techie types, many of which look exactly as their sterotypes depict (sorry, mini-hate there). I'm sure the casinos were happy to see them, too, as they had money to burn and unbeatable systems of gambling to follow (there's a reason casinos make money). Good luck, guys.

Vegas '06- Part 3- "World's Greatest Magic Show"

Last night The Lovely Mary and I went to our first show, modestly titled "The World's Greatest Magic Show", in one of the more remote hotels on (well, sorta on) the strip, the Greek Isles. The theater was small, and the ushers were all shady throwbacks from Vegas days gone by. We bought "preferred" seats which turned out to be chairs at tables we shared with other people. But, for another $20, the grizzled usher could "take care of us" and seat us in a private booth a whole 5 feet closer. Ah, Vegas.

The actual show was amazing, truly, and I happen to love magic shows. (BTW, thx to The Lovely Mary for agreeing to it!) The MC of the event was a comedian/magician named Kozak who was great with the traditional slight of hand and even better handling the crowd. The highlights for me were specifically two illusions. One was when Dan Sperry seemed to rip a bird into two birds (which Bugman and I had seen once on TV and were both amazed), and another was when Kevin James (no, not "The King of Queens") sat out right in the middle of the audience with a young girl volunteer, took a napkin, scrunched it up, then appeared to make it flutter and fly and levitate, etc. In person, this was impressive, believe me. He had another trick, though, that was sort of disturbing, as he pretended to cut a man in half, then had the top half of the man walk around on his hands "magically". This was obviously someone with no legs or lower torso (who I found out later was born that way), and though it didn't make me upset, it didn't really entertain me, either.

Anyway, I got re-excited about illusions and The Lovely Mary even bought me a trick from the Houdini store. As if there wasn't enough magic between us....

Vegas '06- Part 2- "Not for kids"

Today was a day full of walking, eating, and getting The Lovely Mary to spend a dollar here and there trying her luck at video poker. We were also absolutely inundated with those people standing by the sides of the road handing out porno-related ads, constantly slapping them onto each other to make sure you heard them. It definitely seemed to be a requirement of the job and these little porn cards were everywhere.

Don't believe anyone who says Vegas is more family friendly now. Vegas is not for kids.

Vegas '06- Part 1- "Fight Night"

The Lovely Mary has a conference this week in good ol' Las Vegas, and so I took the week off to tag along. We left this morning, and as I looked across the aisle at a woman reading "Slots Today" ($1.95 an issue, I kid you not), I thought of the last time I'd been to the Sin City. What happened in Vegas wasn't the only thing that stayed there; a good amount of my money did too. Though I was temporarily distracted by an in-flight showing of "You, Me and Dupree" (which turned out to be a not so bad movie at all, if not a little long), I eventually got back to thinking about how much fun we were going to have, and how most of it was to not actually involve blackjack tables.

Soon we arrived and got off the plane. Ah, it had been a while. A while since I'd heard that constant drone, that electronic dissonance that was so characteristic of the city into which we'd just arrived. All we could hear was the beeping and chirping of slot machines...and we hadn't been off the plane but five minutes. We were surrounded by flashing lights, huge LCD ads for shows, and lots and lots of tourists (yeah, I know, we are too...but just way cooler).

We jumped in a cab, and once the driver heard where we were staying, the Mandalay Bay, he says something like "Do your parents know you're staying there?", implying at least two things: something potentially scandalous is going on over there and my parents somehow shouldn't know about it. Well, if there was something scandalous over there, they probably shouldn't, but hey...

It turns out tonight is the big Mayweather - Baldomir fight at our hotel. Promo material for this thing was everywhere, from billboards to spotlights to a specially made fight promotion carpet laid out at the entrance. We expected the place to be mobbed...then we find out the hotel is also hosting the Professional Bull Riders World Finals too. Ah, boxing enthusiasts and tons of people in cowboy hats and chaps...together at last.

Well, when all was said and done, the Lovely Mary and I successfully avoided all the hoopla from both events and went to the Shark Reef attraction (which was kickass). We'll find out who won the fight tomorrow.

Sandwich Day

Yes, it's true. There is in fact such a thing as "Sandwich Day", another one of the food holidays, and it is today. The day is the anniversary of the birth of John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich who is credited with inventing everyone's favorite two-slices-of-bread-with-something-inside snack. Does this mean Mr. Montagu is indirectly the inventor of Oreo cookies as well?

The new iPods have (finally) arrived

When Apple announced their new iPod Shuffle, I went through the usual phase of "do I buy it now or wait until the next, better thing comes out?". Well, for the first time, I actually acted on my compulsiveness and bought one.

In fact, I bought two (one for The Lovely Mary).

We ordered them back in the beginning of last month, and in spite of Apple's vague shipping date of "sometime in October", they came through and both arrived today. Damn they're small...

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, happy(?) Day of the Dead for all of you in Mexico...

Top Chef

So The Lovely Mary tells me about this National Blog Posting Month thingee and I thought it was a cool idea, so here's my official first post for the month (with not too much time to spare). Now I almost have an excuse for wasting time writing these things...

On to the topic for today:

One of the shows in our current cycle right now is Bravo's culinary reality show, "Top Chef". Last season was decently entertaining, with enough inter-chef drama to keep our attention. There is something to be said for bantor between a sommelier and a short order cook. Oh, there was a bunch of cooking competition too, I think...

Anyway, the second season of this show started this week, and I can already say with certainty that the producers of the show have spared no expense in bringing another diversly eccentric cast of characters to the kitchen. My early favorite for most controversial is Marcel, the young know-it-all with a degree in molecular gastronomy and a Japanimation haircut.

This week's episode brought some other personalities to the forefront. Specifically, Marisa's. My early assessment: she sucks. There was some challenge where the contestants were split up into two teams and had to go to the markets for ingrdients (cooking show, right, I keep forgetting). After checking out, one of Marisa's teammates, Otto, thought that maybe they had gotten some extra something-or-other, and mentioned it in passing. He didn't steal them. All he did was notice that they hadn't been payed for.

Anyway, this Marisa gets more and more twisted into ethical knots as the day goes on, and when one of the judges comes to visit, she not only tells him about the food not payed for, but implies that Otto was the one responsible, causing the judge to cast Otto off to return said items. Later, when standing before the judges, Marisa really throws Otto under the bus, referring to his "act of dishonesty" as a reason the "team is in jeopardy".

Mind you, Marisa knew about the unpaid-for items for as long as Otto did, and Otto was the only one with the wherewithal to even notice. Oh, and the dessert Marisa was in charge of was called a "substandard product" by the judges. But did she go home? Nope. For some inane reason Otto bowed out of the competition, letting Marisa off the hook. Good job, Otto.

In the previews for next week there looked to be a lot of swearing, and maybe even a stabbing with all the knives around...

Happy (Indian Thriller) Halloween!!

Thanks to Jaz for this. Too funny...

Wish We Hadn't Done That Day

This holiday (today) commemorates the broadcast of the radio program "War Of The Worlds", based on a book written by H.G. Wells and "reported" on live radio by Orson Welles back in 1938.

This broadcast, a stunt now very illegal I'm sure, made millions of people think they had been invaded by hostile aliens. Ooops...

In retrospect, however, I wonder if Mr. Welles wished he hadn't done that after all the dust settled. In a way, he shouted "fire" in the largest theater imaginable (the whole country) and got away with it...

For a downloadable version of the broadcast, visit http://www.mercurytheatre.info/. It takes a while but is pretty fun to listen to.

Super Mario Skit

This one was laid on me by A, frind of the Lovely Mary. Makes me wish I was involved with the Drama Club in college.

Well...not so much really.

Happy Moment of Frustration Scream Day

Happy International Moment of Frustration Scream Day!

At approximately noon people are encouraged to go outside and have a nice, stress releasing scream, something I'm sure many of us need to do more than once a year.

Happy Mad Hatter Day

Happy Mad Hatter Day! I just found out about this one and after such a ridiculous compliance of Talk Like A Pirate Day, I couldn't resist. Take a guess as to why this celebration of silliness is observed today (10/6)...

Time Waster: Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?

You think it's easy, but how well can you tell them apart??

No, no no-no, sorry

Trivia: Who was the last Red Sox pitcher to throw a no-hitter?

Answer: Devern Hansack, October 1, 2006 against the Orioles.

But wait, that's not what MLB says. Even though Hansack pitched a complete game without allowing a hit, which in the eyes of many is what defines a no-hitter, he does not get credit for one in the eyes of the powers that (ML) be. Ah, semantics, how I love thee.

You see back in 1991 Fay Vincent et. al. decided that the definition of a no-hitter as it always had been was no longer satisfactory, and tacked a small but meaningful addition onto the list of conditions a game was required to meet to be considered a no-hitter: the game had to be at least 9 innings. This decision wiped out almost 50 no-hitters from the books and made it so that (for some as of yet unknown inane reason) baseball writers had to describe such games as "5 innings of no-hit ball" or "a complete game without getting a hit". Anyone else think this is cumbersome?

So why do it? Why change what a no-hitter is? I can think of 2 reasons.

The first is probably the more obvious of the two; many consider a 9-inning no-hitter as being more of an achievement as a less-than-9-inning one. We have seen this type of argument before in other areas of baseball stat-land. Baseball nation in general feels compelled to constantly qualify achievements (um, asterisks next to home run records, anyone?). The problem here is that sometimes the inverse is true. For an example look no further than one-time Boston Red Sox pitcher Matt (sigh) Young, who in 1992 somehow managed to pitch a complete game no-hitter and LOSE. Since Boston was away and the home team Cleveland Indians were up 2-1 in the final frame, no bottom of the 9th was required, leaving Young with only 8 innings pitched and thus no "official" no-hitter. Way to go Matt. Why'd you ever leave us?

The second reason I could see is that by shorteneing the no-hitter list you increase (or reenforce) the prestige with which throwing a no-hitter comes. Note that this change in definition came after a year (1990) with an unbelievable 9 no-hitters thrown (7 in the AL and 2 in the NL). Might the fact that 2 of those were less than 9 innings have been a factor in the sudden want for redefinition? Maybe. All I'm pointing out is that it was a time when no-hitters seemed more common (if you can believe it, another 7 were thrown in 1991).

Let's say for a moment that this second reason did act as some sort of impetus for taking away all those no-hitters. Why, then, when the home run totals started to pile up did MLB not redefine what a home run is (which has been done before, by the way. Before 1931 balls that bounced over an outfield fence were considered homers, not ground rule doubles.)? The answer is simple: MLB execs believe that fans like big scoring games, not well-pitched ones (for more on this argument see any article about the sudden post-strike surge in power hitting and think back to the Brady Andersons of the world. Musta been the sideburns.).

Well, whatever the case may be, Devern Hansack, you pitched a hell of a game out there yesterday, gave up 1 walk and no hits, and became the most recent Red Sox pitcher to throw...dare I say it....yes, to throw a no-hitter.

It also means you'll probably be traded soon to the Pirates.

Ask A Stupid Question Day

Happy "Ask A Supid Question Day". Although this holiday was started by teachers to encourage students to ask questions "no matter how stupid they may seem", I feel like lots of people are celebrating it today outside of school. Then again, come to think of it, it seems like lots of people celebrate it every day.

Some really are stupid (I'm referring to the questions here, not the people who ask them). Classic examples include "What year did the War of 1812 start?" and "Is my skeleton inside or outside of my body?". Others are just plain funny, and the asking of them are in part what made comedians like George Carlin famous. My personal Carlin favorite: "What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?".

Many stupid questions are asked more often than we'd like to admit (like "Did that hurt"?). Here is a list of witty responses to some of them.

Did anyone ask you a stupid question today (and no, this question doesn't count)? Post away with today's best.

Time Waster: Reverse

This is amazingly challenging. I wish I could flip my monitor....[source]

Mini-math: Flash Mind Reader

So here's one for all you algebra 1 buffs / students. Why does this "Flash Mind Reader" work? After being wowed a couple of times (or not), try to find a pattern in the numbers you end up with then an explaination and proof to solve it.

I put a solution in the comments, if you want to see if you are right (or you're just lazy).

Time Waster: Bouncee Lady

Move the people holding the elastic for more bounce....[source]

Time Waster: Big Red Button

Found this through boston.com...[source]

Earworm: Unbreak My Heart....

Something we can all relate to are earworms: those song hooks, commercial jingles, and TV show theme songs that find their way into your brain and stay there, repeating over and over again and again and again and again....

Well, just in case you are currently earworm-free, this is for you...it's one of those identity theft commercials form Citi Bank. This one is so bad for me I've been mimicing parts of it now and then for days now (much to the chagrin of my coworkers).

100th Post, Matey

Avast! Ye be readin the long-overdue 100th post of this here blog. I ask ye, landlubbers, dogs and bilge rats, what better day for it than International "Talk Like Pirate" Day? Smartly, then, before we have yur lights and liver and make you kiss the gunner's daughter!

Be ye ready to taste some pirate humor, bucko? Aye, such things exist, so splice the mainbrace with a grog or a clap of thunder and go to TooMuchTaxi to lay yur deadlights on one of the funnier skits in recent SNL history. Saaaaaaaaarsgaaaaaaaard!!!!!!

Whether ye are a salty sea dog or just now on the account, me hearties, let up the ol' Jolly Roger today an' let people hear ye say:

YAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!

Miami

Well...it's been a while, partly because of work, partly because of baseball, and more recently because of vacation to:

MIAMI

That's right, the land of Vice squads, tatoos, all-time Will Smith videos, and of course, South Beach. The Lovely Mary and I shot down for five days and stayed in the Bal Harbor Sheraton, a full-fledged resort right on the beach complete with hot tubs, waterfalls, spas, and my personal favorite: a lagoon-type pool. Sadly, this place is slated to be torn down in February in favor of a more luxurious (and thusly profitable) alternative: a St. Regis. That's probably why we got the deal we got, so I'm not complaining.

A good time was had by all, and as is usually the case with vacations, it was over before we wanted it to be, so we decided that from now on we would institute a 6-day minimum for trips. The food was great, the sights were memorable, and the goal of relaxing and getting away from it all was achieved. Some highlights:

The hotel was amazing and definitely the most resort-ish place I've visited. The number one thing I loved was the pool and we spent a good amount of time by it and in it. The first day there weren't many people there, making for lots of room and a relaxing day for everyone, as opposed to the last day we went out there (a Saturday), where it was tough to fins a spot and people were annoyed (and even more annoying). At one point we went in for a dip and I watched another family (father, daughter, son, dad's new girlfriend) go over to our spot and steal our umbrella pin (for the record, we decided to limit our response to 10 or 12 minutes of dirty looks, in the name of vacation). Come to think of it, someone stole our "Do Not Disturb" sign, too. Damn tourists...

Across from the hotel were the Bal Harbour Shops, and I get the feeling that it was no coincidence we were booked to stay next to a mall that featured such stores as Prada, Armani, Fendi, Gucci, Pucci, Louis Vuitton, Saks, and Tiffany. The place was definitely worth a look, and had lots of scupltures, Koi, fountains and waterfalls, and lots and lots of hanging flora, giving it a Babylon-ish appeal. Unfortunately, all we could really afford to buy there was food!


Every restaurant we went to was excellent. We enjoyed delicious Italian food at a place called Speggio, ate burgers and chicken next to a fish tank at Flanigan's, and dined in a fine bistro in the middle of the Bal Harbour Shops, to name a few. The fact that I even enjoyed a side of broccoli is testament to just how tasty this food was. Mmmm....broccoli....

As we have a propensity for watching almost any kind of reality show, we found a new one called Cash Cab (on the Discovery Channel somehow) and I'm not ashamed to admit we watched it every day we were there. Why can't I be the guy who jumps into a cab and suddenly find myself on a mobile trivia game show?

The South Beach scene lived up to expectations. The sand was fine, the water clear and tepid, and though there were a considerable number of college types there, it was still very enjoyable. It was without question the biggest beach I'd ever been on, and not surprisingly the most beachgoers I'd ever seen too. The lifeguards wore red swimsuits and were constantly shouting angrily at swimmers and jetskiers, making it seem like we were in a bad episode of Baywatch (did I just admit to watching that?). We even had a nice walk on the beach, stopping occasionally to let our bare feet disappear in the sand. Ah, can it get any more romantic? Well, probably, but it was still nice.


While down near South Beach we also windowshopped and walked along the famous Lincoln Road pedestrian mall, stopping to enjoy a bite to eat under a fan blowing mist on us, which was particularly nice due to the humidity. We strolled down Ocean Drive too, even visiting the modelling agency featured in MTV's "8th and Ocean" (it wasn't hard to remember the address...).

On our last full day there, poolside at the resort was entirely too crowded, so we rented a 2-person cabana on the beach and spent the day there lounging, reading, napping, and taking dips in the Atalntic. Swimming in the ocean is something I haven't done in years, and I was soon reintroduced to that old familiar salt-water taste in my mouth. There was a reef not too far out and the waves were strong and really breaking. While emerging from the water the first time I went in, I unintentionally provided comic relief for anyone who could see as I was knocked over a couple of times by the tide, naturally trying to play it off like I intended to be suddenly sitting on my ass...

All in all, you don't need me (or Will Smith) to tell you that Miami is kickass.....but I will anyway. We had a phenomenal time, and Miami is on our list of places to get back to someday, without a doubt.

Can't Wie All Get Along?

Michelle Wie is trying to become the first ever woman to qualify for the U.S. Open this week, and though I am not a fan of golf at all, I enjoy how up-in-arms the golf people who call up WEEI are about the whole thing. Imagine that, first a black golfer and now possibly a woman...what's this world coming to???

Get over it people. I hope she not only qualifies, I hope she does well and sticks around for a long time. She's badass and she's only 16 years old, and all of these buttonheads who call up and complain should keep quiet and face the facts.

Wie would kick you're ass in golf.

Internet Freedom and Nondiscrimination Act

Well, it looks like broadband service providers will have to wait until another day to impede our internet experiences. The US House of Representatives passed the Internet Freedom and Nondiscrimination Act, a bill that prevents ISPs from making some sites load faster than others based on who pays them money or who their competitors are.

James Sensenbrenner, a Republican representative (doing the right thing???) hit the nail on the head when he pointed out that this bill is needed because people do not have too many options when it comes to broadband service, creating "an environment ripe for anticompetitive and discriminitory misconduct". As someone with a small web presence, I of course do not want to compete with sites like Amazon or eBay for bandwidth priority, and for all you blogospherites who want to continue reading sites like this, be glad this bill was approved, because there aren't too many other options out there for you.

Net Neutrality

Read this:

Do you buy books online, use Google, or download to an iPod? Everything we do online will be hurt if Congress passes a radical law next week that gives giant corporations more control over what we do and see on the Internet.
Internet providers like AT&T are lobbying Congress hard to gut Network Neutrality--the Internet's First Amendment and the key to Internet freedom. Net Neutrality prevents AT&T from choosing which websites open most easily for you based on which site pays AT&T more. BarnesandNoble.com doesn't have to outbid Amazon for the right to work properly on your computer.

If Net Neutrality is gutted, many sites--including Google, eBay, and iTunes--must either pay protection money to companies like AT&T or risk having their websites process slowly. That why these high-tech pioneers, plus diverse groups ranging from MoveOn to Gun Owners of America, are opposing Congress' effort to gut Internet freedom.

You can do your part today--can you sign this petition telling your member of Congress to preserve Internet freedom? Click here:

http://www.civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet?track_referer=706%7C7021865-z_75Yh6uRiRY6ZJ3z.co9A

I signed this petition, along with 250,000 others so far. This petiton will be delivered to Congress before the House of Representatives votes next week. When you sign, you'll be kept informed of the next steps we can take to keep the heat on Congress.

Snopes.com, which monitors various causes that circulate on the Internet, explained:

Simply put, network neutrality means that no web site's traffic has precedence over any other's...Whether a user searches for recipes using Google, reads an article on snopes.com, or looks at a friend's MySpace profile, all of that data is treated equally and delivered from the originating web site to the user's web browser with the same priority. In recent months, however, some of the telephone and cable companies that control the telecommunications networks over which Internet data flows have floated the idea of creating the electronic equivalent of a paid carpool lane.

If companies like AT&T have their way, Web sites ranging from Google to eBay to iTunes either pay protection money to get into the "fast lane" or risk opening slowly on your computer. We can't let the Internet--this incredible medium which has been such a revolutionary force for democratic participation, economic innovation, and free speech--become captive to large corporations.

Politicians don't think we are paying attention to this issue. Together, we do care about preserving the free and open Internet.

Super Mario Guitar

This came up in a conversation the other day, and I was challenged to produce the clip.

I win.

WOW - Roth is replaced by O&E

What a surprise this morning when I jumped in my car and turned on the radio. Instead of giving David Lee Roth his three minutes before giving up and switching over to sports radio, I heard some familiar voices I thought I'd never hear on terrestrial radio again: those of shock-jocks Opie and Anthony.

I loved the show these guys had years ago. They were the perfect afternoon compliment to Stern in the mornings. WBCN, the local affiliate here in Boston, had the FM talk radio market cornered it seemed. Then O&A crossed a couple of lines, first reporting that Mayor Menino had died (April Fool's joke), then again when one of their contests resulted in a couple having sex in a New York Cathedral. They were immediately ousted by CBS. Two years later, they inked a deal with XM radio, and a year later their old nemesis Howard Stern joined the satellite radio revolution with a contract with Sirius, and Diamond David Lee Roth signed on as Sterns replacement.

Roth...ugh. Nice guy. Terrible show.

Now, about four years since last broadcasting over the airwaves, Opie and Anthony will be back, resigned amazingly by the same company that blacklisted them, CBS. Their show this morning was basically just an announcement, and their real show starts on (appropriately) Wednesday. They'll be splitting time between the CBS studio and XM, with the switch happening around 9am EDT. I'm interested to see how much they've changed in four years, and am also interested to see what an FCC-friendly O&A show is like (if it is friendly at all).

Opie and Anthony back in Boston makes me say one word: