Six (Red) Flags

So Mary and I go to Six Flags New England yesterday as part of her birthday weekend. With the exception of the overpriced food ($7 for a slice of cheese pizza), I knew it was going to be a good time; I completely revert to adolescence when it comes to things like amusement parks. The Scrambler, frisbee rides, waterslides, and of course roller coasters...many many roller coasters. In fact there were more there yesterday than I ever remember; something like 7 or 8. We got there and knew we wanted to hit up each one of them.

Things were going well; the weather was perfect and the park wasn't too crowded (thanks to something called "The Big E"). We went on a couple of coasters right away, including "Superman", the biggest and longest coaster in the country, which I had been on but Mary hadn't. Then we move over to one of my favorites, the "Mind Eraser".

Much like the drink by the same name, this coaster has been known to scramble one's brains and cross one's eyes (minus the straw). This coaster has it all...twists, turns, loop-dee-loops, and a whole lotta jerking around and not knowing where the ride will take you next. Even though I'd been on it multiple times, it never gets old and I'm always thrilled. This time, however, I got more of a scare than I bargained for.

You sit down in a seat suspended from above and with your feet dangling, and like any ride that involves high speeds and upside-down sections, there is a pressure-controlled safety harness that comes down over your shoulders. After a very long wait in line, Mary and I hop into our seats, and then one of the attendants made his rounds ensuring everyone was securely "buckled in". This guy gives my harness an extra push, shoving it in one click further than I was able to, giving Mary a small chuckle and me a small reminder that there are certain parts of my body that one shouldn't put too much pressure on. "I don't want you falling out, now." she smiled, and while I appreciated the concern, I definitely scoffed at the idea of that happening...

The ride started, and as soon as we entered the first loop, I heard a "click" and felt the harness release a notch...

My hands grabbed the handles on the harness faster than I could think of what to do. I imagined for a moment the worst case scenario, then thought it must have been that extra push the attendant gave. Maybe he didn't fully get to the next notch?

As we finished the first loop and went into a twist, it happened again: another "click" and another degree of safety gone...

At this point I clamped my legs underneath the seat and thought of all the movie and TV scenes I'd seen of roller coasters gone wrong. The one that stuck out in my mind (don't ask why I remembered THIS at THAT time) was one of the opening scenes from the remake of "House on Haunted Hill" where a roller coaster goes flying of the rail and into the air, sending all the riders to certain death.

I tried to remember if there was another safety measure: a seat belt, metal pin...something. Needless to say, I was as tense as a stone. As the roller coaster ride of my life went on, I tried to come up with a plan in case the harness came loose. Was I to hold onto the handles as best I could? Reach out and try to grab the seat in front of me? Let go and take my chances with the fall?

Finally the ride came to an end. As macho as I may portend to be, I realized I was genuinely scared. That shit was f#!&@ scary.

I told Mary about what just happened to me, and she agreed it would be wise to let someone know. So, after everyone got off and shuffled away down the exit ramp, I pulled one of the attendants aside and in a low voice, so as not to alarm anyone, informed him of what transpired and what seat I was in. As we walked off, I saw that attendant go over and tell the operator, then watched as that operator subsequently told everyone to get off the ride. They spent the next 20 minutes or so examining the seats, then ran the ride once with one of the attendants in the seat in question, guinea-pig stylee (that makes sense!).

As Mary and I walked away from the scene and I related to her more of what I'd just experienced, she turned to me and said the best thing I'd heard all day:

"How bout a ride on the Ferris Wheel?"