Parts of a dinner conversation TLM and I had with A and K (from TMT) the other night revolved around television, or, more specifically, how sites like YouTube and Google Video can essentially act as TV for someone these days. No conversation about such sites would be complete without a series of "have you seen this one"'s. So, in light of some of the topics I'd heard about that night, I went to go and look up some of these clips to see them for myself.
I watched a sort of lengthy (by YouTube standards) but interesting clip on a pod of Orca hunting gray whales, and a funny clip of myotonic goats, or as they are commonly and appropriately called, fainting goats. My favorite of the day though is shown below. Yuko Ogura, a Japanese model and evidently part-time reporter, decided it would be a fun idea to wear a baby seal hat just outside the polar bear tank. Talk about entertaining television....the full clip is even funnier (someday I should learn some Japanese).
What is one of the busiest work weeks I've had this year sure to bring? A time waster of course, and in our internet-laced society (or, more specifically, on this blog) that means a web page with some Flash-y cartoon or game, ripe for hours and hours of procrastination goodness.
This time it's a game featured on the Adult Swim site called "Bible Fight". It's a standard one on one fighting game, except instead of Ryu, Guile or Zangief you choose from biblical characters such as Noah, Moses, and Jesus. You have your kicks, your punches, and of course your divine intervention.
If you're Christian and a little worried that this is on the blasphemous side of things, you might be right, but at least you can play Jesus and pound the crap out of Satan...
Cinco de Mayo! Ah, that fabulous 5th of May (I speak Spanish), a day where many people from all walks of life fill up on Mexican food and, thanks to heavy international advertising and subsequent reasons to drink, Corona. But what is Cinco de Mayo anyway?
As opposed to popular belief, the holiday is not Mexico's Independence Day, though I'm sure you all (who remotely care) have learned that by now. The holiday actually commemorates the Battle of Puebla where Mexican forces beat the snot out of the occupying French.
Lying in bed last night, drifting off into sleep, I found myself thinking not of all the wonderful Mexican-type stuff I'd be doing, eating and drinking today, but rather of that battle that occurred 145 years ago today, except for one small and entertaining difference. For whatever reason, as I slipped into unconsciousness I imagined the French getting their butts kicked not by Mexican people but rather by...
...wait for it...
...Mexican Robots! Ah, how creative and amusing one's subconscious can be. (maybe it's just the meds)
In light of the Tom Brady / Yankee Hat ordeal, I was reminded of this disturbing commercial, in which I think Wally's initial reaction of shock and subsequent walk-away of disappointment are spot-on. As far as I'm concerned, no Red Sox should ever be allowed to wear a Yankee hat OR talk to a Yankee, never mind Posada of all people. What's Posada doing, anyway? Paperwork? This commercial touches on a taboo idea, and Brady's wearing of a Yankee hat in real life is an extension of it and makes us Sox/Pats fans cringe. I don't hear Tom Terrific saying "Pats fans...Pats fans...it's not what you think...".
At times I enjoy being entertained by mind-numbing television, and no channel does it better these days than VH1 (remember when they were just the "MTV for old people"?). After two seasons of "Flavor of Love" and it's first spinoff "I Love New York" (each series getting progressively worse than the last), the celeb-reality show braintrust at VH1 decided to go back to the basics. They took the 13 most controversial, outspoken, loud, skanky, or pissed off women from the first two seasons of "Flavor of Love", dressed them up in private school uniforms and stuck them in a house for their new reality show, "Charm School". There they will taught manners and etiquette by Mo'Nique, the host and President of Charm School, and her "Ten Commandments", around which the challenges revolve each week. My favorite so far: "Thou shalt work with what thou art working with". How can anyone say that with a straight face?
Helping Mo'Nique decide the fates of the girls each week are a couple of "Deans"; one is an editor at Essence and the other is the resident Simon Cowell nasty nay-sayer type (who is, by the way, a beauty pageant coordinator!). Every week after a challenge, the group gets together and someone is sent home, symbolized by handing in their Charm School pledge pin.
Both TLM and I knew this would make our TiVo lineup the moment we saw the preview. Will there be any fistfights? Will there be any spitting? Will there be any chicken in the microwave?
The Lovely Mary and I have been to a few games already this year, and though much of it has thus far been devoted to Matsuzaka's starts, rain outs, high scoring offensive displays, great defensive plays, and the first round of Red Sox - Yankers 2007 (SWEEP!), I still need to get some things out about the first game we attended: the Red Sox home opener against the Mariners.
The Good
BecKKKKKKKKett
Josh Beckett was maybe the biggest story of that day for me, though his performance may have gotten lost amidst the explosion of Red Sox runs (damn, I wish we could've moved a few over to Matsuzaka's start the following night). He pitched a 2-hitter over 7 innings with 1 run, no walks, and 8 Ks, including punching out Ichiro an unbelievable 3 times and striking out the side in the 6th. The defense was also solid, and I hope that all those people who were so concerned that Julio Lugo (nicknamed "JuLu" by TLM) was a significant downgrade at shortstop see how much of a difference it makes when the pitcher is as dominant as Beckett was at the home opener.
This was the Beckett I was hoping to see last year and the Beckett I believe we will see a lot more of this year. He's had another good start the following Sunday against Vlad and company, and hopefully his great performances will continue (I say this not only because I'm a Red Sox fan, of course, but also because he's on my main fantasy team).
Matsuzaka Mania
During the player introductions, the largest cheer came for that of Daisuke Matsuzaka (see clip below), unsurprising considering the expectations of the front office and the rest of Red Sox Nation. What was surprising was the uproarious applause given to his translator and just about anyone with a last name that even remotely sounded Japanese. If that wasn't enough proof that Boston has gone Japan-crazy, we heard the Vapors' classic "Turning Japanese" at least twice and noticed at least half of the ads inside the park had some Japanese on them, including a new and large Dunkin Donuts billboard above the right field bleachers (is there even a Lumber Liquidators anywhere near Japan?).
The Almost Fight
In the 8th, TLM and I are sitting in our seats watching many fans start to exit what had been a blowout since the 3rd, when I look up and suddenly see Jose Guillen walking up the 3rd base line after striking out, jawing at the mound. The home plate umpire restrained him, though Guillen really made no effort to charge the mound, but it was enough apparently to empty the dugouts and, in traditional baseball fashion, the bullpens, just in case the fists were to fly and our resident enforcer Julian Tavarez was needed to step in. Guillen was ejected after the fracas, and the Sox pitcher who struck him out, Brendan Donnelly (yeah, that guy with the sports goggles from the Angles a few years ago) was allowed to stay in, only to be ejected after hitting the next batter 2 pitches later.
At first we thought it was Guillen mouthing off to Donnelly, as he has a reputation of not playing well with others. He has Sheffield disease: though a better than average player, the Mariners are Guillen's 8th team in 9 seasons. He was even kept off the 2004 (then-Anaheim) Angels postseason roster for being a jerk even though he was one of their best hitters.
As it turned out, these two had a history together, as Donnelly reminded us in the post game conference. I had forgotten all about the incident back in 2005 between the Angels and the Nationals, featuring a heated argument that almost turned violent between the managers of the 2 clubs, Mike Scioscia and Hall of Fame player and manager Frank Robinson (who, by the way, was almost 70 at the time). Donnelly got caught with lots of pine tar on the heel of his glove and was ejected, as pine tar is considered a "foreign substance". The accusation was made that Guillen, who had a bad breakup with the Angels the year before, told Robinson all about Donnelly's use of pine tar, and whether true or not, the bad blood has existed ever since. Apparently both teams were warned both in spring training and before the game that any unruliness would not be tolerated. That seems to have worked well...
The Bad
New, Improved, and Obstructed View
My father first bought these tickets back in 1990 (Brunansky!) which back then was a great deal. Infield grandstand, just inside of first, $10 a game for 30 or so games.
This year marks the 18th season we had that plan, and over the years I've become, well, let's just say accustomed to how Fenway looks from that perspective. Full on view of the monster, the bleachers, clear views of the entire infield, and almost the entire outfield save for deep right when everyone stands up (Brunansky!)...nothing to complain about. That is, apparently, until this season.
No sooner had I sat down to enjoy my first view of the Fenway field of the season, one of my favorite moments of the year by the way, than I notice that some of the new "enhancements" installed this year were two metal cages for cameramen, hanging down below the luxury boxes and under the overhang. They were also directly blocking, uh, any view I had of the electronic scoreboard in center field. No letter, no phone call, no advance warning at all, just "Welcome to Opening Day, enjoy your new view of the cameramen...hope you don't miss replays too much."
For this I and neighboring season ticket holders called the Red Sox offices, to which the only reply so far has amounted to "Oh yeah...too bad.". This now forces me to write my first ever official letter of complaint. Ridiculous. I get pissed about this at least three times a day still.
Oh, and it was butt-ass cold too.
40th Anniversary of the Impossible Dream
This was just sloppy. For the commemoration of an amazing season I and throngs of other people my age has been told about since we were children, this was simply disappointing and I'm glad my father wasn't there to see it. There was no real organization behind what we at the park saw. The ever cheesy Robert Goulet came out to sing the famous song from "Man of La Mancha", then I heard some cheering coming from left field. Apparently, the players had started to come out from behind the huge American flag they drape over the Monster every year, led by Captain Carl himself, though we had to figure that out on our own. Who knows; maybe the names were clearly displayed on the center field scoreboard where (almost) anyone could see...
The players from that Impossible Dream season of 1967 ended up taking their old positions on the field...or at least I think so. It was hard to tell not only because of the lack of audio (nd no scoreboard view) but also because the Mariners were doing wind sprints back and forth.
The 1967 team players that were there then lined up to all throw out "the first pitch" to members of the 2007 club. I heard someone say "On the count of three", though it wasn't the counting off of numbers that followed, but rather balls being thrown from various locations to various targets and at wildly various times.
And to top it all off, I think the jets missed Fenway on the flyby.
The Annoying
There are three things I can practically count on being true of Opening Day every year: I will not go to work (school, whatever), there will be no parking, and there will be no empty seats. After one inning of play, however, I was astonished to see that the two seats next to us were as of yet unoccupied. I wasn't about to complain though, as it allowed us to move over a seat and give us a little more room in those annually shrinking grandstand seats.
It was just after the 3rd inning began that I saw people in our aisle start to get up, the telltale sign that the aforementioned empty seats were about to be claimed by their rightful, albeit late, owners. And then I heard them. Or should I say her. I couldn't make out exactly what was being blurted out, but I could tell it was being blurted by one really annoying voice. TLM later told me she was actually asking "you gonna make room for me on your lap while your sitting in my seat?". Ha. We stand up when they arrive and she greets me with a particularly sarcastic "Sorry buddy", obviously under the impression that she had asserted her authority and kicked out some vagrant trying to sit in her seat. My quick and not so endearing response was something like "No problem, I'll be sitting right here next to you".
And so I did. For exactly one inning. I kid you not, she and her follower, er, friend left after the 3rd. For that entire inning, however, she wouldn't shut up and paid absolutely no mind to, whaddaya call it again, oh yeah, the BASEBALL GAME that was going on. I couldn't help but hear entirely too much information. Yap yap yap yap yap. She was married in August 2004. She was separated in November 2004. She moved to Vegas afterwards to "get her life together"...I think that explains a lot.
Ah, what a game. The Red Sox swept the Yankers right out of town last night, coming back to win each of the three games. Some of the many highlights of last night included a three-run homer by Mike Lowell to take the lead for good in the 7th, an amazing game-saving diving catch by Dustin Pedrioa in the 8th, and a lights-out performance by Jonathan Papelbon, getting A-Fraud to ground out to end the game. The greatest moments came in the 3rd, however, when the Red Sox, down 3-0 at the time, took the lead when Manny Ramirez, J.D. Drew, Mike Lowell, and Jason Varitek smacked 4 straight homers over 10 pitches, "chasing" the rookie Chase Wright from the game.
For the rest of the inning, all the buzz in our section was "Have you ever seen that?", "I've never seen that", and "That's gotta be a record". When TLM and I got home I quickly looked it up and found out this was the fifth time in history a team has gone back-to-back-to-back-to-back, and on an interesting side note, J.D. Drew was the second to homer in the last time it happened as well when the Dodgers hit 4 in a row against the Padres last September.
Season series so far: Red Sox 3, Skanky Yankees 0.
I just watched A-Fraud hit his second dinger of the game, with Coco almost making the catch of the decade to rob him (instead he just fell on his head). Schilling and the Sox are down 5-2 in the 7th...it ain't ova yet.
Daisuke Matsuzaka got his first MLB win today and looked impressive...as if we here in Red Sox nation had any doubts!
He went 7 innings giving up 2 runs and 6 hits with 1 walk and 10 strikeouts. At one point he retired 10 in a row...oh yeah, that includes striking out the side in the 4th.
I know this outing was just the beginning of his career here, and the skeptics will remind us that it was only one win, but after watching him pitch today I, for one, think all those millions that went into signing him was money well spent.
"The Boston Red Sox paid $51 million just to negotiate with the sensation from Japan...And in Kansas City? A few hours before game time, more than 18,000 tickets remained for sale at the box office at Kauffman Stadium. Seats in the 40,785-seat stadium start at just $8." -Andrew Ryan, Boston Globe, April 5, 2007
$8 to see Daisuke's first game in the bigs? I'll bet you dollars for donuts that tickets to see Matsuzaka's Fenway debut next Wednesday will cost at least 10 times that, and that's for SRO in deep right, forget about grandstand.
After the game I spoke to my friend SirKenLord (who, by the way, directed this pretty amazing documentary on the annual Koshien Tournament in Japan). He spoke to me of Matsuzaka's 1998 heroic performance in the single-elimination high school tournament that year, throwing 250 pitches over 17 innings in the quarterfinals then throwing a no-hitter in the finals to win it all. SirKenLord said Matsuzaka was his hero.
We like heroes here in Boston. Especially ones in Red Sox jerseys.
The Red Sox are opening their season today in Kansas City at 4:05, and I can't wait. It's the same every year; the Patriots are done and the Bruins and Celtics are too lackluster to be as exciting as spring training. The anticipation builds, the new players are (thoroughly) scrutinized, and predictions of a trip to the postseason are abundant. It used to be "This is the year", and now it's "This is as good a team if not better than the 2004 club" (which, in the off chance you forgot, won the World Series that year).
Some popular topics, if you aren't excited (or cynical) enough already:
Ah, Flatland...the 19th century essay about life in a 2-dimensional world and the subject of many a middle school math class across the globe (hopefully minus the slightly sexist undertones). Written in 1884 by Edwin A. Abbott (whose middle name also happens to be Abbott!), the essay is an exposition on the notion of extra dimensions as well as a "satire on the social hierarchy of Victorian society", as it describes a world whose inhabitants are squares, triangles, pentagons and other 2-dimensional figures whose place in society is rigidly defined by the number of sides they have and how regular they are (that is, how closely their sides are in length to each other).
Well, now there's going to be a movie (wuhooo!). Due for release in June of this year, the main character, A. Sqaure, will be voiced by Martin Sheen, and the trailer actually looks pretty compelling. The website for the movie is pretty slick, too.
Four years ago when I found myself in the new car market for the first time, I came across lots of makes and models, each with their own bells, whistles, advantages and disadvantages. Ultimately I settled on a Toyota Matrix (and no, not because I happen to love the movie by the same name). She was stylish, roomy, great on gas mileage, and most importantly a great deal less costly than other comparable cars.
Aside from a missing antenna (the fault of the stupid dealership and the beginning of another rant altogether), I drove off the lot a happy man, and stayed happy up until very recently. You see, I am now an official member of the missing hubcap club.
Why is this post-worthy? For starters, this is not the first time my car has mysteriously lost a hubcap. About a year and a half ago one popped off while I was driving unbeknownst to me until I noticed it missing after I parked. Luckily I hadn't gone far and after a short search I found it and kicked it back into place. No big deal, right?
A few weeks later the sister of a friend who also drove a Matrix told me the same exact thing had happened to her (she was also lucky and got hers back). After then, I noticed that almost every other Matrix I saw on the road either was missing a hubcap or had all four removed (presumably for consistency). I began to wonder if the random popping-off of hubcaps was a chronic problem of Matrixes (Matrices?) everywhere.
In fact it is. Although Toyota won't acknowledge any hubcap issues, plenty of other people write about how they are constantly losing their hubcaps. Interestingly, the people "in the know" who respond either claim the hubcaps are knockoffs and not originals or that the consumers should get them, and I quote, installed professionally. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when I buy a car from a dealership should the hubcaps not be originals and already installed by professionals? I know hubcaps are purely decorative and not terribly expensive (TLM has already offered to get me a new one), but shouldn't there be some kind of compensation for Matrix owners who fall victim to a problem Toyota secretly knows exists? Ridiculous.
All this didn't help me recently, however, when once again I returned to my car to notice only three hubcaps in place. Granted, one may have been taken by some karmically confused Matrix owner to whom the same thing occurred, but I suspect it was just a repeat of the first time and my hubcap is currently lying by some road in or around Boston, just wasting to be found so it can get its spin on again.
For now, I am a proud member of this missing hubcap club and I just may retire the remaining three hubcaps, drag racer stylee. Eh, what the hell.
That is until, of course, the fourth is found, in which case I will, um, "re-tire" them all...
Content found on The Neoteric is of no particular genre, topic, or focus, other than it was all at some point, in some way, interesting enough to me to write about.
There are three things I can practically count on being true of Opening Day every year: I will not go to work (school, whatever), there will be no parking, and there will be no empty seats. After one inning of play, however, I was astonished to see that the two seats next to us were as of yet unoccupied. I wasn't about to complain though, as it allowed us to move over a seat and give us a little more room in those annually shrinking grandstand seats.
