Happy Mad Hatter Day

Happy Mad Hatter Day! I just found out about this one and after such a ridiculous compliance of Talk Like A Pirate Day, I couldn't resist. Take a guess as to why this celebration of silliness is observed today (10/6)...

Time Waster: Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?

You think it's easy, but how well can you tell them apart??

No, no no-no, sorry

Trivia: Who was the last Red Sox pitcher to throw a no-hitter?

Answer: Devern Hansack, October 1, 2006 against the Orioles.

But wait, that's not what MLB says. Even though Hansack pitched a complete game without allowing a hit, which in the eyes of many is what defines a no-hitter, he does not get credit for one in the eyes of the powers that (ML) be. Ah, semantics, how I love thee.

You see back in 1991 Fay Vincent et. al. decided that the definition of a no-hitter as it always had been was no longer satisfactory, and tacked a small but meaningful addition onto the list of conditions a game was required to meet to be considered a no-hitter: the game had to be at least 9 innings. This decision wiped out almost 50 no-hitters from the books and made it so that (for some as of yet unknown inane reason) baseball writers had to describe such games as "5 innings of no-hit ball" or "a complete game without getting a hit". Anyone else think this is cumbersome?

So why do it? Why change what a no-hitter is? I can think of 2 reasons.

The first is probably the more obvious of the two; many consider a 9-inning no-hitter as being more of an achievement as a less-than-9-inning one. We have seen this type of argument before in other areas of baseball stat-land. Baseball nation in general feels compelled to constantly qualify achievements (um, asterisks next to home run records, anyone?). The problem here is that sometimes the inverse is true. For an example look no further than one-time Boston Red Sox pitcher Matt (sigh) Young, who in 1992 somehow managed to pitch a complete game no-hitter and LOSE. Since Boston was away and the home team Cleveland Indians were up 2-1 in the final frame, no bottom of the 9th was required, leaving Young with only 8 innings pitched and thus no "official" no-hitter. Way to go Matt. Why'd you ever leave us?

The second reason I could see is that by shorteneing the no-hitter list you increase (or reenforce) the prestige with which throwing a no-hitter comes. Note that this change in definition came after a year (1990) with an unbelievable 9 no-hitters thrown (7 in the AL and 2 in the NL). Might the fact that 2 of those were less than 9 innings have been a factor in the sudden want for redefinition? Maybe. All I'm pointing out is that it was a time when no-hitters seemed more common (if you can believe it, another 7 were thrown in 1991).

Let's say for a moment that this second reason did act as some sort of impetus for taking away all those no-hitters. Why, then, when the home run totals started to pile up did MLB not redefine what a home run is (which has been done before, by the way. Before 1931 balls that bounced over an outfield fence were considered homers, not ground rule doubles.)? The answer is simple: MLB execs believe that fans like big scoring games, not well-pitched ones (for more on this argument see any article about the sudden post-strike surge in power hitting and think back to the Brady Andersons of the world. Musta been the sideburns.).

Well, whatever the case may be, Devern Hansack, you pitched a hell of a game out there yesterday, gave up 1 walk and no hits, and became the most recent Red Sox pitcher to throw...dare I say it....yes, to throw a no-hitter.

It also means you'll probably be traded soon to the Pirates.

Ask A Stupid Question Day

Happy "Ask A Supid Question Day". Although this holiday was started by teachers to encourage students to ask questions "no matter how stupid they may seem", I feel like lots of people are celebrating it today outside of school. Then again, come to think of it, it seems like lots of people celebrate it every day.

Some really are stupid (I'm referring to the questions here, not the people who ask them). Classic examples include "What year did the War of 1812 start?" and "Is my skeleton inside or outside of my body?". Others are just plain funny, and the asking of them are in part what made comedians like George Carlin famous. My personal Carlin favorite: "What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?".

Many stupid questions are asked more often than we'd like to admit (like "Did that hurt"?). Here is a list of witty responses to some of them.

Did anyone ask you a stupid question today (and no, this question doesn't count)? Post away with today's best.

Time Waster: Reverse

This is amazingly challenging. I wish I could flip my monitor....[source]

Mini-math: Flash Mind Reader

So here's one for all you algebra 1 buffs / students. Why does this "Flash Mind Reader" work? After being wowed a couple of times (or not), try to find a pattern in the numbers you end up with then an explaination and proof to solve it.

I put a solution in the comments, if you want to see if you are right (or you're just lazy).

Time Waster: Bouncee Lady

Move the people holding the elastic for more bounce....[source]

Time Waster: Big Red Button

Found this through boston.com...[source]

Earworm: Unbreak My Heart....

Something we can all relate to are earworms: those song hooks, commercial jingles, and TV show theme songs that find their way into your brain and stay there, repeating over and over again and again and again and again....

Well, just in case you are currently earworm-free, this is for you...it's one of those identity theft commercials form Citi Bank. This one is so bad for me I've been mimicing parts of it now and then for days now (much to the chagrin of my coworkers).

100th Post, Matey

Avast! Ye be readin the long-overdue 100th post of this here blog. I ask ye, landlubbers, dogs and bilge rats, what better day for it than International "Talk Like Pirate" Day? Smartly, then, before we have yur lights and liver and make you kiss the gunner's daughter!

Be ye ready to taste some pirate humor, bucko? Aye, such things exist, so splice the mainbrace with a grog or a clap of thunder and go to TooMuchTaxi to lay yur deadlights on one of the funnier skits in recent SNL history. Saaaaaaaaarsgaaaaaaaard!!!!!!

Whether ye are a salty sea dog or just now on the account, me hearties, let up the ol' Jolly Roger today an' let people hear ye say:

YAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!

Miami

Well...it's been a while, partly because of work, partly because of baseball, and more recently because of vacation to:

MIAMI

That's right, the land of Vice squads, tatoos, all-time Will Smith videos, and of course, South Beach. The Lovely Mary and I shot down for five days and stayed in the Bal Harbor Sheraton, a full-fledged resort right on the beach complete with hot tubs, waterfalls, spas, and my personal favorite: a lagoon-type pool. Sadly, this place is slated to be torn down in February in favor of a more luxurious (and thusly profitable) alternative: a St. Regis. That's probably why we got the deal we got, so I'm not complaining.

A good time was had by all, and as is usually the case with vacations, it was over before we wanted it to be, so we decided that from now on we would institute a 6-day minimum for trips. The food was great, the sights were memorable, and the goal of relaxing and getting away from it all was achieved. Some highlights:

The hotel was amazing and definitely the most resort-ish place I've visited. The number one thing I loved was the pool and we spent a good amount of time by it and in it. The first day there weren't many people there, making for lots of room and a relaxing day for everyone, as opposed to the last day we went out there (a Saturday), where it was tough to fins a spot and people were annoyed (and even more annoying). At one point we went in for a dip and I watched another family (father, daughter, son, dad's new girlfriend) go over to our spot and steal our umbrella pin (for the record, we decided to limit our response to 10 or 12 minutes of dirty looks, in the name of vacation). Come to think of it, someone stole our "Do Not Disturb" sign, too. Damn tourists...

Across from the hotel were the Bal Harbour Shops, and I get the feeling that it was no coincidence we were booked to stay next to a mall that featured such stores as Prada, Armani, Fendi, Gucci, Pucci, Louis Vuitton, Saks, and Tiffany. The place was definitely worth a look, and had lots of scupltures, Koi, fountains and waterfalls, and lots and lots of hanging flora, giving it a Babylon-ish appeal. Unfortunately, all we could really afford to buy there was food!


Every restaurant we went to was excellent. We enjoyed delicious Italian food at a place called Speggio, ate burgers and chicken next to a fish tank at Flanigan's, and dined in a fine bistro in the middle of the Bal Harbour Shops, to name a few. The fact that I even enjoyed a side of broccoli is testament to just how tasty this food was. Mmmm....broccoli....

As we have a propensity for watching almost any kind of reality show, we found a new one called Cash Cab (on the Discovery Channel somehow) and I'm not ashamed to admit we watched it every day we were there. Why can't I be the guy who jumps into a cab and suddenly find myself on a mobile trivia game show?

The South Beach scene lived up to expectations. The sand was fine, the water clear and tepid, and though there were a considerable number of college types there, it was still very enjoyable. It was without question the biggest beach I'd ever been on, and not surprisingly the most beachgoers I'd ever seen too. The lifeguards wore red swimsuits and were constantly shouting angrily at swimmers and jetskiers, making it seem like we were in a bad episode of Baywatch (did I just admit to watching that?). We even had a nice walk on the beach, stopping occasionally to let our bare feet disappear in the sand. Ah, can it get any more romantic? Well, probably, but it was still nice.


While down near South Beach we also windowshopped and walked along the famous Lincoln Road pedestrian mall, stopping to enjoy a bite to eat under a fan blowing mist on us, which was particularly nice due to the humidity. We strolled down Ocean Drive too, even visiting the modelling agency featured in MTV's "8th and Ocean" (it wasn't hard to remember the address...).

On our last full day there, poolside at the resort was entirely too crowded, so we rented a 2-person cabana on the beach and spent the day there lounging, reading, napping, and taking dips in the Atalntic. Swimming in the ocean is something I haven't done in years, and I was soon reintroduced to that old familiar salt-water taste in my mouth. There was a reef not too far out and the waves were strong and really breaking. While emerging from the water the first time I went in, I unintentionally provided comic relief for anyone who could see as I was knocked over a couple of times by the tide, naturally trying to play it off like I intended to be suddenly sitting on my ass...

All in all, you don't need me (or Will Smith) to tell you that Miami is kickass.....but I will anyway. We had a phenomenal time, and Miami is on our list of places to get back to someday, without a doubt.

Can't Wie All Get Along?

Michelle Wie is trying to become the first ever woman to qualify for the U.S. Open this week, and though I am not a fan of golf at all, I enjoy how up-in-arms the golf people who call up WEEI are about the whole thing. Imagine that, first a black golfer and now possibly a woman...what's this world coming to???

Get over it people. I hope she not only qualifies, I hope she does well and sticks around for a long time. She's badass and she's only 16 years old, and all of these buttonheads who call up and complain should keep quiet and face the facts.

Wie would kick you're ass in golf.

Internet Freedom and Nondiscrimination Act

Well, it looks like broadband service providers will have to wait until another day to impede our internet experiences. The US House of Representatives passed the Internet Freedom and Nondiscrimination Act, a bill that prevents ISPs from making some sites load faster than others based on who pays them money or who their competitors are.

James Sensenbrenner, a Republican representative (doing the right thing???) hit the nail on the head when he pointed out that this bill is needed because people do not have too many options when it comes to broadband service, creating "an environment ripe for anticompetitive and discriminitory misconduct". As someone with a small web presence, I of course do not want to compete with sites like Amazon or eBay for bandwidth priority, and for all you blogospherites who want to continue reading sites like this, be glad this bill was approved, because there aren't too many other options out there for you.

Net Neutrality

Read this:

Do you buy books online, use Google, or download to an iPod? Everything we do online will be hurt if Congress passes a radical law next week that gives giant corporations more control over what we do and see on the Internet.
Internet providers like AT&T are lobbying Congress hard to gut Network Neutrality--the Internet's First Amendment and the key to Internet freedom. Net Neutrality prevents AT&T from choosing which websites open most easily for you based on which site pays AT&T more. BarnesandNoble.com doesn't have to outbid Amazon for the right to work properly on your computer.

If Net Neutrality is gutted, many sites--including Google, eBay, and iTunes--must either pay protection money to companies like AT&T or risk having their websites process slowly. That why these high-tech pioneers, plus diverse groups ranging from MoveOn to Gun Owners of America, are opposing Congress' effort to gut Internet freedom.

You can do your part today--can you sign this petition telling your member of Congress to preserve Internet freedom? Click here:

http://www.civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet?track_referer=706%7C7021865-z_75Yh6uRiRY6ZJ3z.co9A

I signed this petition, along with 250,000 others so far. This petiton will be delivered to Congress before the House of Representatives votes next week. When you sign, you'll be kept informed of the next steps we can take to keep the heat on Congress.

Snopes.com, which monitors various causes that circulate on the Internet, explained:

Simply put, network neutrality means that no web site's traffic has precedence over any other's...Whether a user searches for recipes using Google, reads an article on snopes.com, or looks at a friend's MySpace profile, all of that data is treated equally and delivered from the originating web site to the user's web browser with the same priority. In recent months, however, some of the telephone and cable companies that control the telecommunications networks over which Internet data flows have floated the idea of creating the electronic equivalent of a paid carpool lane.

If companies like AT&T have their way, Web sites ranging from Google to eBay to iTunes either pay protection money to get into the "fast lane" or risk opening slowly on your computer. We can't let the Internet--this incredible medium which has been such a revolutionary force for democratic participation, economic innovation, and free speech--become captive to large corporations.

Politicians don't think we are paying attention to this issue. Together, we do care about preserving the free and open Internet.

Super Mario Guitar

This came up in a conversation the other day, and I was challenged to produce the clip.

I win.