Survivor Denise: Janitor, No Class

Denise Martin told us all a tale during the "Survivor: China" finale that not only gave rise to a collective sob of compassion from the audience akin to what one might hear after seeing an impoverished child in a CCF commercial for the first time, but also a check for $50,000 from producer Mark Burnett. It seems, however, that she stretched the truth in places and skipped the truth altogether in the rest. Her nonchalant recitation of how the powers that be in the cafeteria hierarchy wouldn't let her keep her job as a lunchlady because she was "too popular" turns out to be more of a fictitious appeal to the masses than an actual lunchpail sob story.

According to Nancy Lane, the Superintendent of Douglas Public Schools, Martin was promoted to janitor, and given almost a $10/hr. pay raise along with it, in March of this year, before she even tried out for the Survivor. This, to be sure, is not what Martin wanted us to believe during that reunion show.

"They did explain to me today that reality doesn't necessarily mean factual" -Nancy Lane, Douglas Public Schools

Martin appeared on The Early Show this morning and admitted that the implication she made about being demoted because of her appearance on Survivor was false. She also said that she tried to get her old job back but the position had already been filled. Also, when the question of whether or not Martin would still accept the $50,000 was proposed, she gave the impression that she would, if it was still being offered.

In the words of my friend Bugman, "Another classy Masshole."

Thanks, Denise. You do us proud.